Whether you like it or not, it is true that there is no perfect family in this world. There will always be conflicts and issues that may arise in any fundamental institution of society. However, it does not mean that you already have a dysfunctional family if everyone keeps on fighting or having issues with each other. You need to understand that it is only normal for family members to get into fights or have misunderstandings. What is important is that you continue to make an effort in resolving the issues.
Being a member of a Jewish family, you need to be respectful and loving at all times. As much as possible, dedicate your time into becoming the peacemaker at home. Do not be the source of evil so that you can keep your family from breaking apart. Keep in mind that failure to settle issues and differences can make certain matters worse. Below are some of the tips on how you can resolve family conflicts:
Identify The Root Cause
There is always a particular reason why the people in the family are not talking to each other or are expressing anger against one another. What you need to do is to identify the causes of this conflict so that you will know how to approach the situation. Keep in mind that different circumstances call for different resolutions. Once you know the reasons for the fight or misunderstanding, it will be easier on your part to think of potential solutions.
Avoid Taking Sides
Always be in the middle of the two parties involved in the argument. As much as possible, be mature enough to refrain from making unnecessary comments or suggestions. If you have nothing good to say, it is best if you will just keep your mouth shut. Otherwise, you may end up being involved in the conflict. If this happens, it can put a lot of pressure on yourself to the point that you will grow anxious and stressed every day. Taking sides will only make you regret such action in the future.
Bridge The Gap
Whenever there is conflict in the family, each member can be hostile with each other. Each of them will have too much pride for himself, which is why they will not be willing to settle the issues. As such, your role is to see to it that they will make an effort to come up with a compromise. Do everything you can so that each of them will be reminded of the importance of bridging the gap. You do not need to tell them what to do because it can lead to more significant problems. Instead, simply find a way to bring them together in one table so that they can talk to each other. As already mentioned above, always be the neutral party to the situation.
Talk To Each Party
As part of being on the neutral side of things, it is also suggested to find a way to connect with each family member. Remember that each party is close to your heart, which is why you have to make yourself available at all times. When one of them wants to talk, do not hesitate to listen. Just remember to keep whatever information you get from the said conversation as an individual. Do not pass it to the other party to ensure that the situation will remain to be manageable.
Seek Help From Elders
There are some issues in the family that you can never resolve on your own. Sometimes, all it takes is to get in touch with the elders who have a much bigger influence on the family members involved in a fight. For example, if your siblings have been having misunderstandings that remained unresolved for a long time, maybe it is time to consider calling your parents to ask for help or assistance. Take note that you may not have the same effect as that of your parents when it comes to talking to your siblings.
Try Family Counseling
The moment the problem in the family has become too complicated to handle internally, it I best to consider going to a family therapy session. Do not be hesitant to recommend this kind of treatment so that each member will have an opportunity to receive professional help from an expert. Stop thinking about the fact that counseling or therapy is still a taboo in society. Instead, look at it as the smart solution that can make all the problems in the family gone.
Take note that you deserve to have a peaceful and loving Jewish family. Make sure to follow the tips and tricks mentioned above to maintain harmony for everyone in your family. Learn how to be sensitive in everything you do to avoid offending any member in your family. Moreover, promote love and respect at all times.